hello. . .
just got the letter from doc :D can go bk sch on monday luh! miss yall .
jokes :DDD
this is from shiyin:

One day, during lesson, John was trying to poke Mary with a needle.
The teacher asked: "Who's the greatest teacher of all?"
John poked Mary.
Mary jumped up and shouted: "OH GOD!"
"That's correct!" the teacher said.
"Now, what did Eve said to Adam when they had their 21st baby?"
John poked Mary even harder with the needle.
Mary jumped up and shouted : "IF YOU JAB THAT THING INTO ME 1 MORE TIME, I AM GONNA MAKE YOU PAY FOR IT!"
The teacher fainted.

HAHA.

Three buddies die in a car crash, and they go to heaven to an orientation.They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man." The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow." The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say, "Look! He's moving!"


General McKenzie was in charge of the Navy, and he was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army.
McKenzie arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall.
They both walk around the place, and McKensie asks: "So how are your men?"
"Very well trained, Gral. McKenzie."
"I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they're the bravest men all over the country."
"Well, my men are very brave, too."
"I'd like to see that."
So Marshall calls private Cooper and says:
"Private Johnson! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!"
"Are you crazy? It'd kill me, you idiot! I'm out of here!"
As private Johnson ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered McKenzie and said:
"You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."

i took the idiot test :

1.Some months have 31 days; how many have 28?
my ans: 12.

2.Can a man living in the USA be buried in Canada?
my ans : No.

3.Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister?
my ans:No.

4.Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer?
my ans: 25 ( the ans is 70.)

5.A man builds a house rectangular in shape. All sides have southern exposure. A big bear walks by, what color is the bear?
my ans: white (seriously, i dunno)
( i got this correct~ they say cos it north pole, n it must be polar bears.)
6.If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?
my ans: 2.

7.A doctor gives you three pills telling you to take one every half hour. How long would the pills last?
my ans: 1 hour.

8.A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How many are left?
my ans: 9.

9.How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the ark?
my ans:1. ( DAMMIT~ MOSES WAS NOT ON THE ARK.)

10.How many two cents stamps are there in a dozen?
my ans:12.

8 out of 10. hah. i abv average :DD